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Post by amtrum on Jul 30, 2008 22:00:00 GMT -5
She didn't seem to get it and that was cute. Even choosing a logical answer was following your heart. One didn't need a leap of faith to follow one's heart. It was about trusting yourself, not what you learned, but what you know. It was something deeper then facts, it is how you can know something is wrong even if it isn't against the law. Hearing her answer though Mathew would smile and gently poke her nose as he turned to face her grinning.
"And that was all I wanted to hear. Following your heart doesn't mean you can't believe in logic. It's what you know deep down. It's how you can tell someone is a good person, or something is right or wrong."
He would say trying to explain what he was getting at. It was a bit awkward, he wasn't normally a spiritual person himself, but he did trust in himself... well sort of. He wasn't sure if he could anymore, not with what has been happening. But he still tried to, even if he had to second guess himself.
"Like I know you are a good person. I know it deep down. Even though you won't tell me anything about yourself. You could be a serial killer, a terrorist, or something else for all I know fact wise. But I know you are not those things, I just know you are a good person." He would finish with a small affirming nod. He was sure that he read her correctly.
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Post by Jax~the~painter on Jul 31, 2008 1:35:02 GMT -5
A memory overcame her when he heard him say right and wrong. She remembered a soft voice speaking to someone else in another room. Little Jax was always so sneaky and nosy. She listened to the boy speak about murder and justice with such resolve and passion. It inspired and surprised her. Her grey eyes sparkled with curiosity.
She strived hard to put that voice to a face. She knew she had seen his face before. Why couldn't she remember. It made her heart ache with frustration.
"Everyone must decide between what is right and wrong. Someday it will be my job to punish those who take the path of the wicked. I will serve to justify what is right..."
Those words echoed in her head. She pushed them aside and hoped Mathew didn't notice her going into some sort of trance. She looked at him and smiled.
He distracts me...But then again...He reminds me of what I am haunted by...But hey...Sometimes he distracts me in such a way...Sometimes...I think I long for it...
Jax cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses. Both things she did when she was even the slightest bit nervous. It bothered her that she did those things, seeing as how she was becoming so comfortable with him.
"Thank you, Matty. It's good to know you know that. I sure like to think I am a good person." she said. She blushed a little when she realized she had called him by a nick name.
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Post by amtrum on Aug 2, 2008 0:19:12 GMT -5
Mathew would grin widely as he watched her. It was cute, it really was. He couldn't recall the last time he was around someone that got nervous so often. He couldn't help but chuckle when he saw her all flustered like that. He was only human after all. He would lean in and give her another small kiss, he wasn't normally this affectionate on the first date, but he couldn't help it. He was just drawn to her, he just felt like he couldn't get enough. She was so innocent, and if he could make her fall for him then maybe, just maybe he wasn't a bad person either.
It was a comforting thought, even if he didn't fully believe it himself, but then again he didn't think that she would really fall for him. So it really wouldn't matter. He would just try and enjoy the time he had, one night where he could pretend to be something other then what he was. Someone normal. He could ignore the evil that was rising up inside of him, seething under the surface. Always watching him, always waiting.
"Something in side me just tells me that you are. And I have yet to see anything to contradict that. After all could a bad person make such beautiful pieces of art?" He would ask with a grin as he broke the kiss, once again looking in to her rain colored eyes. Looking in to them like he could see a way to salvation through them, that somehow she might be the key.
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Post by Jax~the~painter on Aug 5, 2008 19:19:40 GMT -5
Her eyes widened a bit when he grinned at her. It always surprised her. It made her heart pound and blood rush to her face. Affection was definitely not in her upbringing. Her reaction to it now was that of what it would be if she was younger. Alot younger. In that aspect, Jax was still very much like a giddy little girl. Other than that, she was very poised and mature.
She savored the feeling when he kissed her again briefly. It was almost like sugar to her. It had a kind of euphoric effect on her. It made her light-headed and put her in a dreamy sort of state. It made her melt.
I never want this stop...I want this feeling to stay with me all the time...Is that possible? Hmmmm...I sure hope so...I have never felt like this before...I am going to be awfully sad when this day is over...
An overwhelming feeling of joy and calmness overcame her when he talked about how he knew she was a good person. And he called her art beautiful! She was beyond happy that he liked her pieces. They meant alot to her.
"Thank you, Matty...I know you are a good person too...I have yet to see any evidence that causes me to believe otherwise...You are kind, sweet and gentle..." she said, staring into his eyes.
She felt it. She felt the connection they had. It was almost unreal. She had never had this kind of connection before.
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Post by amtrum on Aug 22, 2008 4:19:39 GMT -5
"Well I am glad that you think I am a good person. I am not perfect though. I know I stole a pack of gum once when I was a child. And then in Junior High I did copy off of Yodai's test."
He would say with a small snicker. He was being a smartass and he knew it. He couldn't help it though, it was perfectly set up in his mind. And joking about it made it easier since he knew he wasn't a good person, not anymore. He did terrible things to poor animals and that thought just disgusted him to no end.
It was hard not to let his self loathing show and despite his efforts a small frown would form on his face after his words. It would be easy to mistake it for him feeling bad about the minor wrongs he had admitted to doing. It would be easy to see that and not think that there was something deeper. After all who would think that this kind, sweety, fun loving, honor student was a sick and twisted person with twisted compulsions. Who would think he was a sadist? Surly people that housed that much evil would show it somehow, with boils or some deformity, not be normal looking college students. Sometimes he didn't believe it himself even.
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Post by Jax~the~painter on Sept 16, 2008 2:19:19 GMT -5
Jax laughed at his minor wrong doings. She had done the same things, but sometimes to a much larger volume. When she traveled around for a few years after leaving her abusive grandmother, she had to steal in order to survive. Sometimes she stole food or clothing. But one thing she never stole was money. For some odd reason, she felt that was a bit too far. She would only take what she needed to survive and she felt that money was a luxury.
"I too have stolen." she said with a solemn sigh, gazing into space as she remembered the times.
She remembered a time when she was younger, she was rummaging around in a stranger's barn. She was looking for clothes specifically. She gasped when the door to the barn flew open and a girl no older than 5 stood there. She had gazed at Jax with such a serene face. The girl could see that Jax was visibly shaking from the cold. The little girl then removed her coat and offered to Jax...
This was a moment that Jax never forgot. That event in particular was what strengthened her thirst for justice. For she knew that this little girl and her family were being robbed blind by taxes. Unfair taxes. And even though this was happening and they could not afford to spare anything, she gave Jax her coat anyhow. Jax vowed that she would protect people like that little girl.
A small smile graced Jax's lips as she ran a hand over the buttons on that very coat she was given years ago. She was wearing it now. It was such a dark black. The buttons were made from carved wood. And no matter how long she had had it or washed it, it always remained the same dark black. Never fading in her vision.
Jax looked up at Mathew and smiled. "But I think I had a different reason to steal than you did." she said with a small nod.
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