With new feeling comes new sketches...(Open)

[amtrum]

"You know you probably will win. I am good, but I am not amazing." He would say with a shrug being honest. "But that doesn't matter. Let's just have some fun." He would finish with a grin as he got up out of his seat extending his hand to her offering to help her up. Not that she needed help, but his parents had tried to instill old fashioned values on their boy. Now and then he remembered them and when he did he tried to go with it.

"So D I haven't seen you around before, and I thought I would have. You do stand out a bit. So I have to ask? Are you new to the area? Or do you go to school here or something?"

He would ask interested in maybe seeing her again after today, that is if things went well. He had a feeling they would be, they seemed to be getting along well. But who knew things could go sour at a moments notice. He just hoped that they didn't though, she seemed to be pretty cool and he had a good feeling about her.

"I go to To-OH if that makes you feel better about answering my question." He would throw in since she seemed to be very guarded against him. So he was trying to put her at ease by letting her know he trusted her and she could trust him. It wasn't like he was going to hurt her or anything.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax nodded, hoping she didn't come off as conceded or anything like that. She just wanted to have fun. She looked up at him and gathered her sketchbook and purse. She then took his his hand gently.

"Thank you. You are quite the gentleman, you know." she said with a smile.

Gentlemen were hard to come by nowadays. Most men wouldn't even open the door for women, let alone escort them somewhere. It was quite the change of pace for her.

She felt a bit uneasy when he asked about her being new to the area. She wasn't really, but she knew she couldn't tell him about Wammy's House. She had never told anyone about that place.

"I came here quite some time ago from Europe to study painting. I saw that most of the artists I idolize are here in Japan. So, I took some art classes and here I am. I wouldn't say I am a big time name or anything. But I guess I am kinda well known amongst the art folk." she explained.

This was all sorta new for her. She wasn't used to people approaching her and taking such an interest in her. She found that she liked it. She wouldn't call herself social, but she knew how to interact atleast normally.

"To-Oh University? Wow. That's great. I hear the entrance exam is very tough." she said, genuinely impressed.

[amtrum]

"You can thank my Mother for the raising me right." He would say with a grin as he helped her up pleased that she had accepted his hand. Just like so few men were Gentlemen nowadays so few women accepted it.

He would nod when she explained that she had moved here from Europe because of the artists here. He would assume she meant the ones that drew anime and manga. He could be wrong but that was just his guess when people talked about Japanese artists. Though he wasn't really hip on the art scene so he really couldn't say for sure.

"Really? Thats pretty cool? What part of Europe are you from? I lived here my whole life pretty much. But I was born in America. I don't remember anything about it though." He would say with a small frown. He did want to go to America and see what it was like, but he doubted he would ever see himself there. At least not anytime soon.

A very small modest blush would cross his cheeks for a moment when she acted impressed about him getting in to To-OH. The exam was hard but he was used to people expecting that out of him. He wasn't used to someone being impressed by him. That was kind of nice.

"Yeah the exams were pretty hard. I did faily well on them too. Top portion of my class. Though a few other kids beat me in the scores."

He would say feeling a bit bitter about that. Mostly because he had worked his butt off and had thought that he had the top score in the bag.

"Parents were proud of me though and I am pretty much guaranteed a career in computers when I graduate. But that is all pretty dull stuff. Number crunching mostly."

He would say honestly, what you could do with computers was amazing but actually doing it wasn't some really cool blood pumping experience. Certainly nothing as exciting as say being a cop. But what one could create with computers could be as beautiful as any work of art. He had a few viruses that he had made on his laptop he kept in case he wanted to try them out. Nothing to harmful, mostly fun little toys he made while he was bored. Though he doubted he would ever use them.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax nodded when he mentioned his mother raising him right. She felt a small twinge in her chest. She had never known what it was like to have parents. It usually didn't bother her, but every now and then she wondered what it might have been like. She was happy to know that parents were still teaching their children good manners.

"I am glad. From the people I run into everyday, I was starting to lose hope for people with manners." she said with a small laugh.

She had indeed moved here after reading some manga, but some of the other artists she liked where traditional water-color artists. They were very rare. Not many people practiced that art.

"I moved here from England. But I am orginally from France. But I have visited America. It's a very interesting place to say the least." she said, making sure she didn't reveal too much about herself. Yes, she had a good feeling about him, but that could just be her hope taking over.

Even as he brushed off the fact that he got into To-OH, she was still impressed. Jax herself was very smart, but she always felt she was more artistically inclined than wicked smart. She admired those that could understand things like computers and technology. She was lost when it came to that stuff.

"It's great that you are so good with something like computers, which are very popular and needed nowadays. I only wish my paintings were as popular." she said with a giggle.

[amtrum]

The streets outside the cafe were crowded with the hustle and bustle of the city. With just a casual glance Mathew was able to see businessmen with black leather briefcases, mother's with their children, teenagers gossiping, and what he suspected to be less then upstanding citizens. The streets as always full of people from all walks of life.

"Well you know even with the world in the state it is there are still good hearted people out there."

He would say looking at her with a bright smile as he decided to take a chance and gently take hold of her hand. If she pulled away he would let her but if she chose to let it remain in his he would give it a gentle squeeze as he gave her another smile.

Either way he was still interested in their conversation and he would listen intently storing it all away for later. Most likely future conversations with her.

"Well I am really envious of you. I would like to travel, but I sometimes wonder if I will ever leave Japan." He would say a bit bummed about that fact before continuing on in a brighter tone not letting himself get down about such a small thing. "So when did you go to America?" He would ask very interested in hearing about his home country from someone that had been there besides his parents.

"And don't think I am letting you off the hook about your artwork completely. I would like to see some of your work. Maybe one of your finished pieces?" He would offer with another grin and a playful wink. He was legitimately enjoying himself with her, it was nice.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax's grey eyes scanned over the people that passed by them. A deep blush crawled across her cheeks as he squeezed her hand. Physical contact of any kind she wasn't used to. Especially with the opposite sex. Hell, she had barely even been kissed by a man. She had once...but it was forced on her by some random pervert, so she didn't count that one. Anyhow, she hoped he wouldn't notice her blushing.

"Yes...It does seem that people nowadays...really have no heart." she said slowly, sinking into deep thought.

She was snapped out of it when he flashed her a bright smile. A smile? They were so rare these days. Everyone seemed so intent on getting where they needed to be. Everyone had their own problems, too busy to help eachother out. So...in short...smiles were not common.

"Oh, I visited America to see some of the museums there. I wanted to take a closer look at the american perspective in art. It was quite the trip. But hey, if you really want to go somewhere, I say go. Maybe something amazing could happen. And if you don't take the chance, who knows when you will be able to." she said, thinking she may have gotten a little too deep on the subject of travel.

But travel was something close to Jax. It seemed to be in her nature to travel. Ever since she was a little girl, all she did was wander from place to place. And because she did that, it presented so many great experiances. Some she would never forget or the lessons they taught her.

She smiled at the mentioning of her finished pieces. She wouldn't mind it if he saw them. Hey, maybe he would want one.

"I would like it ver much if you came to see them. I am always willing to show my paintings to anyone who takes an interest." she said.

She was having fun. She couldn't remember a time she had this much fun with someone before. She was usually always working on paintings or rehersing new ballets. But now, she wasn't working. She was just talking and sharing...And sharing wasn't as scary as Wammy's House made it sound. But she knew she still had to be careful.

But...What could a first name hurt? She bit her lower lip. Nothing, right? She decided to take a chance.

"Um...Mathew? You can call me Jax. That's my real first name..." she said to him quietly, walking closer next to him.

[amtrum]

He would let out a laugh when she told him that if he wanted to travel he should do it while he had the chance. She made it sound so easy, like he could just drop everything he had going on in his life to travel, his work with his dad, and his studies at To-OH. He would love to get away from it all, but he really didn't think that it was an option. His parents certainly wouldn't approve of him missing his studies like that and he couldn't afford it on his own. That was for sure.

"You make it sound so easy, I really wish that I could just pack up and see the world. Maybe that would release me from my burdens." HE would say wistfully wondering if traveling could dispel the demon within him. The urge to hurt and kill. He wondered if it was possible to feed the demon with another fuel other then pain. Not that he was possessed or anything like that, but there was a part of him that he tried to keep locked away deep inside. An ugly side that he loathed with his whole core. He could feel the taint of his actions like a film of oil over an otherwise clear pond and it made him want to vomit sometimes.

Not now though, he felt the urge still but it was muted, it normally was when he was happy. And right now he was very happy, he was with a cute girl, he was having fun. What was there to be sad about.

"Maybe someday I will get the money to do it, but I don't think my parents would pay for me to ditch my studies. They still expect me to finish at the top of my class. Don't get me wrong I am not going to play modest and say I am not smart, because I am. But I know I am not the smartest in my class, there are some that are just out of my league."

He would say with another small laugh as he lifted his free hand to move his bangs out of his face again hoping in vain that they wouldn't fall back over his eyes as they walked.

"And I would love to see your paintings. Once again I really am no art critic so I might not get all of the deep undercurrents of them. But I do know what I like and I think I would like to see your art." He would say honestly, as long as she didn't expect him to analyze them and whatnot he would be fine. He just liked art for how it looked, not what it meant.

He would slowly let go of her hand when she told him her real name softly as she moved closer to him probably so that only he would hear her say it. He would turn to look down at her hoping to meet her gaze with another small smile on his lips as his arm moved around her side pulling her closer to him as he leaned down and whispered in to her ear softly.

"I will call you D and we can keep your real name our secret. At least in public." He would offer her softly, he could only assume that she would want it that way since she gave him a fake name in the first place. But he was touched and honored that after that she trusted him with her real name, even if it was just the first name. But he was more then happy with that for now. But if this developed in to something serious he hoped she would trust him with her full name like he would her.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax didn't know what it was like to have obligations or real responsibilities she owed to other people. She had spent alot of her life alone. Even at Wammy's House, where she grew up, she felt alone. Yes, she had a few friends, but she barely had time for them there. Once she was given a task at that house, she dedicated herself to it. Plus, she was free to leave anytime. No one would truly scorn her or miss her. She was free as a bird. It when she realized she would never be him that she decided to leave.

"Yes, I can see how that would make it troublesome to leave...I am sorry I go off on a whim and make it sound easy. I guess that's just how travel has always been to me. Easy. But I am one of those silly dreamers people shrug off now...I believe people should do what they love to do and not what they feel obligated to do..." she said in a dreamy kind of tone.

She felt a pinch in her gut as he mentioned he wouldn't be the smartest in his class. She knew that feeling all too well. Always striving to be the best. To win the game...A game that seemed almost impossible to win. A hopeless game. She knew she would never be the smartest either. That postition went to someone else. Someone who didn't need to feel and only wanted to win. That could never be her.

She stayed silent on that subject of being at the top. She feared what she may blurt out to him. That feeling of hopelessness may come rushing back to her and take her over, making her tell him exactly why she could feel his pain on that subject. But no, she would keep that a secret.

A smile swept across her face again as he mentioned seeing her art. People gazing upon her art filled her with joy. She didn't know why, but it did.

"No. I won't ask you to annalyze it or anything. I would just be happy for you to look at it. But, I will want to know how it makes you feel inside. I don't care if people don't get what I am trying to convey. As long as my art evokes an emotion in someone, I am happy." she said.

She looked up into his eyes and gasped softly as his arm pulled her closer to him. This was definately not something she was used to! Her cheeks turned bright red as he whispered in her ear. Her heart pounded in her chest. This probably wasn't a normal reaction that any normal girl would have at such a simple gesture. But Jax was not a normal girl. Quite the contrary really.

"O-Oh...Ok t-then..." she stammered, trying to sound normal and not so flustered.

[amtrum]

"No not silly at all. Dreams are what keep you going. I don't know what your dreams are but I know I have mine. And that is the light within the darkness that gives you strength to push on. To be the best, to win the game. It's like that Frank Sinatra song. The Impossible Dream, those are the best kind. The ones that will always be there, out of reach but shining down on you like a guiding star." He would say wistfully as he looked upwards at the sky still holding Jax close to him.

He was a bit of a dreamer sometimes. Like everyone he had his own dreams, secrets that he kept close to his heart and used it to move forward in life. He knew she did too, everyone did. At least he liked to think that everyone had something deep down that kept them going. A secret dream that pushed them forward and gave them hope and meaning.

Looking down at her he could see that she was obviously flustered. He wasn't exactly the charming kind of guy that could have any girl he wanted. But he wasn't a bad looking guy and he has had girlfriends and he has been around girls. He had a feeling that she was starting to like him, he was certainly enjoying his time with her. He would however choose to pretend that he didn't notice that she was flustered so that she didn't feel more embarrassed or flustered.

"Well I will be sure to tell you exactly what I feel from what you show me." He would say with a bright smile as they continued to make their way down the street. No longer did he even seem to notice that they were not alone in the streets. It was just him and her together alone for all he cared. And with this many people around they were pretty much alone anyways. Just part of a crowd impossible to pick out.

"Did you still want to play DDR? Or did you want to go show me your paintings now?" He would ask not sure what she wanted to do and not sure where her paintings were. Though he was actually fine with both options.

[Jax~the~painter]

She felt her heart ache when he mentioned being the best and winning the game. At that house...That's all she was taught to do. To make deductions and test to see if they were right. To be the one who is always right and always genius. To be the winner at the end of the game...No! She refused! She wanted to live her life the way it made sense to her! Life is not a game! Life is full of pain, joy, love, anger, envy and so many other things. And she wanted to feel them all.

"Life is to live...Not to win..." she said quietly, not really meaning for him to hear her.

She dreamed alot. It seems she was always spacing out and dreaming of a life she felt she would never have. She had one dream in particular that kept reoccuring. Over and over again...That voice she would hear...The voice she heard so many years ago at that house...But she couldn't remember who's it was. She wanted to know so badly. It haunted her. But no, she pushed it from her mind. Now was not the time to think about it.

She nodded when he told her he would tell her what he felt when he would see her paintings. That's all she wanted. She gazed ahead and realized that they were only a few feet from a gallery that held some of her latest works. She laughed at the coincedence.

"Ha. Actually, that gallery just ahead of us has a few of my most recent paintings. We could go in and see them of you would like." she said with a shy smile.

[amtrum]

"Living is winning."

He would say with a grin. One thing he liked to talk about was the meaning of life, morality, just life in general. He loved sharing his opinions with someone else that could match his own intelligence. It was one of the pleasures in life, to be able to have a deep and intelligent conversation.

"The world is full of predators and prey and every second you live you are winning. You never truly lose until you die."

That was how he looked at it. There were lots of ways to win, to be the strongest, the smartest, the fastest, the richest, and even the happiest. It wasn't always a competition. There could be more then one winner. It was a game against yourself, your inner demons and your insecurities.

"There are always things in life that try to bring you down. Your fears, insecurities, pride, and sometimes even other people. But we all have that shining dream. At least I like to think so, and I don't know about you, but I am always striving for my dream."

He would say the last part softer then before. He didn't want to preach to someone he just met and he realized that he had been doing just that. Turning to look at her he would slowly move his hand away from her sticking it in his pocket instead as he slumped slightly, his body language obviously retreating inwardly.

"Sorry, I don't mean to preach. I just get a bit... involved when I start on a topic that I can rant on. But we just met and I really shouldn't be going off like that." He would say with another small nervous laugh keeping his hands in his pockets. He felt he may have blown the moment right out of the water and he wanted to recover it.

"But you know I do want to go to the gallery and see your work. I really do."

He would say honestly, he did want to see her art, as long as she was with him at least.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax paused when he spoke about living is winning. She considered it a moment, then nodded. She supposed that was true. Everyday is seemed like more and more things were trying to bring people down, but they pressed on. In a way, that was winning. Winning against that force that crushed some people, but not others who fought to win. Yes, it seemed what he said was true.

"Yes...I suppose that is true..." she said softly, still thinking about it.

But her thoughts were interrupted by him going on about his theory on life and what it's meaning was. Seemed such a deep conversation to have at this point, but she let him go on. He seemed so passionate about what he was saying. It almost ovewhelmed her. It had been quite sometime since she had heard someone speak like that about something so important. Usually all she heard people talk about was Kira and that was enough.

She gazed at him as he let go of her. His change in body language took her by surprise. It seemed oddly familar to her....So familar. But she couldn't quite figure out why. She pushed the thought aside.

"Please don't apologize. It's something you care strongly for. If you have something to say about it, then please, say it. I am always willing to hear it." she said, placing her hand on his arm gently.

There wasn't any reason for him to apologize. She loved it when people spoke so harshly and passionately about something.

"And alright. Let's go. It would make me more than happy to share my art with you." she said with a gentle smile, softly tugging on his arm.

[amtrum]

God you are so fucking stupid. There is no need to scare her off by rambling on and on about something that is just stupid you moron.

Mathew would mentally curse himself, so far he really liked Jax and the last thing he wanted to do was blow things before they even had a chance to start. She was secretive, which did bug him a little bit because he had to wonder 'why?' Was it because she was a criminal and that was an alias? Or was she an 'L' wannabee? He didn't know and he wasn't sure if he cared that much. All he knew for sure was that he was enjoying the time he was having with her thus far and they had only started hanging out, if he didn't blow it he would have a long day and evening to enjoy her company with.

He felt a small sensation of warmth on his arm as she touched him, her body warmth going through his clothing. It was a pleasant feeling and it managed to bring a smile to his lips. His body would loosen up again at her tone, apparently he didn't scare her off. That was a good thing.

"Maybe when I have known you longer then an hour." He would say with a small laugh before nodding and following her lead when she started to tug on his arm to lead him to the gallery. He would follow her there since he didn't exactly know where it was. Though he would make a bit of a playful show of dragging his feet since he really did hate not leading. He always felt more natural when he was in charge and deciding where to go, and while he wanted to go to this, it was just odd to be following someone else there.

[Jax~the~painter]

Jax smiled at him. He seemed upset and somewhat worried about something. She rolled reasons why around in her head for a moment. Maybe he thought he was being a bit too intense just then? Or perhaps she wasn't telling him enough about herself? That wouldn't be the first time a guy brushed her off for being so guarded and mysterious. She let out a small sigh.

It was just in her nature. What she was taught to do. Guard and protect herself at all costs. But she had already broken one of the main rules. She had given her real first name. She began to wonder if it would come back to haunt her.

She smiled when he straightened up and smiled at her. She guessed her attempt to comfort had worked. It was her first attempt ever to cheer someone up. She had a habit of being kind of awkward in social situations.

A small frown flashed across her lips when he told her he may tell her more after they have gotten to know eachother for more than an hour. She hated it when people didn't just say what they wanted to say. It was kind of ironic really. She hated it when people kept things from her.

She let out a small laugh when he began dragging his feet. She smirked slightly. Men could be such babies when they didn't get to lead. It was the same in life as it was in dance. Men always wanted to lead, just because they were men. Ha. Well, that never mattered to Jax. She was a strong women and wouldn't ever let a man stand in her way of anything.

"Oh wow..." she gasped quietly.

She stopped in front of the gallery window and gazed at it. There, sitting in the front window, was one of her paintings. This particular one meant alot to her. It was painted in water-colors and on yellow canvas, giving it a very old and antique feel to it. Painted on it was a collage of stained glass windows, a high bell tower and a large gothic fence. Only those who had ever been there would understand what the place was. It was Wammy's House.

A single tear slipped down her pale cheek. Her heart always felt as if it was in a vice when she thought about that place. It reminded her of that voice she heard in her dreams. That soft voice...Would she ever find out whose voice it was? She wondered about it as she stared at the painting.

[amtrum]

It wasn't because she was a girl that he didn't like following her. It wasn't that simple, he was just used to being the guy in charge. He was used to calling the shots and being upfront and it was just strange being the one following. It wasn't even refreshing. Thankfully they were not far away, it wasn't long until they stopped in front of the gallery and he heard Jax softly gasp as she looked at the painting in the main display.

Mathew would turn to look at the painting. It was a building from what he could tell. Gothic style, British from what he could tell. The detail was nice to his untrained eye and it was pleasing to look at. He did enjoy landscape art and scene art more then abstract. It liked to know for sure what he was looking at.

However, the painting didn't really speak to him. Of course he had no clue what the place was or what it meant to Jax, he didn't even know that she painted it. To him it was a nice painting of an old building. The glass windows and tower were beautiful he had to admit, and he would like to visit a place like that someday, it was certainly diffrent from anyplace he had ever been in his life.

Not being one that was amazingly in to art however once he had the picture in his mind he felt no real need to continue to look at it. After all it held no special meaning to him. So his eyes would shift over to Jax instead, something that he had much more interest in. He would see the single tear rolling down her cheek which would cause him to frown slightly. He didn't really understand why she was crying. He could guess it had to do with the painting since she hadn't been crying before, but what it was about it was beyond him for the moment.

Not knowing the cause of the tears Mathew would slowly reach out to her draping his arm across his shoulders and allowing his hand to grab ahold of her shoulder gently squeezing it in hopes to get her to glance over at him. If she did he would flash her a small smile as he looked in to her eyes before speaking.

"You ok? You're crying." His voice would be quiet not feeling the need to speak loudly, and it wasn't the kind of thing you said loudly anyways. He wasn't sure if it was real, if she felt it, or if it was just a thing of the moment but he thought he could feel a connection in her. Two lost souls meeting by chance, though he knew nothing about her he sometimes wondered if his soul was lost, or if he even had one. For surely one that had compulsions such as he couldn't have a soul.